Bigla akong nainis sa sarili ko. Anak ng tokwa. Di ko mahanap ung report na ipapasa ko sa mga bossing ko. Ang gulo kasi ng desktop ko. Halo halo ang mga reports at kung ano ano pang mga documents ko. Grrr... Sa sobrang inis sinubukan kong linisin ang desktop ko. Dapat dati ko pa to ginawa para mas ok tingnan monitor ko. Click dito click dun... Pagbukas ko ng My Documents may napansin akong kakaibang file name...
Sentiko.doc
Binasa ko ang laman ng doc na un. Nabigla ako ng nakita kong eto pala ung sulat na binigay ko kay Czarina. Dito dumugo ung ilong ko sa kaka english ehehe. Eto ung sulat na nabanggit ko sa "Sad goodbye na nga ba?" chapter. Papakita ko sa inyo kung pano dumugo ang ilong ko sa pagsulat neto:
"I’m writing this letter to you now because I just want to say goodbye. I know I had told you many times to take care of yourself. I just can’t stop thinking and caring for you. Dunno why but that’s what I am. Prolly this will be the last time I can write this one because I have doubts that we will see each other again. Know what, I just want to tell you how much I love you for the last time. I never want to give up my love for you but I really can’t have everything, right? I will admit that I still harbor these feelings for you – from the first time we met, till you rejected me, till now. Maybe I really can’t change the fact that I DO love you and that’s how it’s gonna be for a long time. At least you never changed. You never ignored me unlike others who would avoid people like me. That’s one thing I liked most about you. After all this time, my love never diminished…
Living in the past won’t do any good, I know that. But we’re both living in the past… me still having this love I won’t have and you, well, you know what I’m talking about,. So please don’t tell me to just forget everything. I can’t simply forget all these feelings….
Please don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t want to force myself on you. I just felt that I have to tell you these things. I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of our closeness now. I’m sincere with everything I told you. I’m really sincere when I told you that I’m always here for you…
I’m sorry if can’t fulfill my promise. I know you know that I also want to cure all your pain. I failed miserably on this part because I really can’t heal your pain. I tried to be always there for you, but I guess there are some things I can’t help you with.
Hope things won’t change anymore. I’m just contented this way. As long as you’re happy, I’m contented. If being friends is the farthest our relationship could reach, then I want our friendship to grow more and branch out.
Don’t bash me. I’m just a writer trapped within my love… "
Handa ko na sana sya kalimutan pero bakit ko pa ito nakita ulit... It's almost a month na ulit na di kami nag uusap. Nakapagdesisyon na kong.. "AYAW KO NA" ayaw ko na.... Pero habang binabassa ko ang sulat na to, lalo ko lang sya naiisip. Lalo ko lang syang gusto makita ulit...
Sana makalimot na ko... madali sabhin pero sana... sana lang....
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